Ki Tavo - Attitude of Gratitude
Through gratitude, we find happiness, deepen relationships, and embrace the power of teshuva.
Our parsha begins with the mitzvah of bikurim—bringing the first fruits as an offering to God. This offering is accompanied by a declaration, affirming that God has fulfilled His promise to bring us out of Egypt and bless us with abundance in the land of Israel. The section ends with the verse
וְשָׂמַחְתָּ בְכָל־הַטּוֹב אֲשֶׁר נָתַן־לְךָ יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ וּלְבֵיתֶךָ
You will be happy with all the good that God gives you [Deuteronomy 28:11]
that seems to tell us that we must be happy with all the good that God gives us. Some commentators derive from this that there is a mitzvah to be happy. However, others, such as Rabbi Akiva Eiger, challenge this, asking: How can you command someone to feel happy? You can’t force a person to feel an emotion!
Yet, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that later in the parsha, when the Torah discusses the punishments the Jewish people will face when being exiled from Israel, it gives the reason:
תַּחַת אֲשֶׁר לֹא־עָבַדְתָּ אֶת־יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ בְּשִׂמְחָה וּבְטוּב לֵבָב
Because we did not serve God with joy and a good heart [Deuteronomy 28:47]
It seems that even if happiness isn’t a standalone mitzvah, it appears to be a key factor in helping us avoid punishment.
Some commentators, like the Ramban and the Sforno, suggest that even if someone keeps the Torah and mitzvot with perfection, if they lack joy, the curses of the tochacha may still be applicable. However, such a concept might make it seem as though God is impossible to please!
I was fortunate to hear an insightful resolution to this issue from two of my teachers — my Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Yaakov Weinberg Zt”l, and later, Yibadel L’Chaim Tovim V’arukim, my other Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Betzalel Rudinsky Shlit”a. They both emphasized that happiness isn’t something we are commanded to add to our checklist of mitzvot. It’s not that we’re supposed to "Keep Shabbat and make sure to smile, or else!" The Ramban and Sforno aren’t saying that the absence of happiness leads to punishment. Rather, they are describing a reality: if you observe Torah and mitzvot without joy, you will eventually become lax. Without happiness, your motivation will fade, and your relationship with God will suffer.
While no one can force us to feel happy, we can choose our attitude. Happiness often stems from a sense of gratitude for the blessings in our lives. Instead of focusing on what we lack, we can focus on what we have. As we learn from the mitzvah of bikurim, gratitude leads to happiness. This is the profound wisdom of our parsha: the way we feel is largely in our control, and it begins with appreciating the good in our lives.
Contemporary psychology supports this idea, with many experts suggesting that reflecting on gratitude can improve our mood, focus, and productivity. But personal experience makes this even clearer. My high school friend, Lavi Greenspan, became blind at 26. Despite his disability, Lavi has built a successful life—he's a lawyer, a well-known motivational speaker, and recently married. He shares his story on various platforms, including a recent appearance on the "Meaningful People" podcast. When asked for tips on living a good life, Lavi said he makes a point of reflecting on three things he’s grateful for each night before bed, thanking God for all that he has. This practice helps him manage the daily challenges he faces.
I believe this is the message of our parsha as we prepare for the High Holidays. On Rosh Hashana, we are given the unique opportunity to choose our path for the year ahead—not only what we want to achieve, but, more importantly, the kind of person we want to become. As we prepare for this precious opportunity, let’s embrace the powerful lesson of our parsha: by strengthening our sense of gratitude, we will find true happiness, draw closer to God, deepen our relationships with loved ones, and fully immerse ourselves in the transformative power of teshuva.
Shabbat Shalom.